youre lurking in front of me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
