I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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