Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
