Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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