She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
