That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
