she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize