i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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