his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
