That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize