He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think my vagina is haunted
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
