Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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