Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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