She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
