I wanna passion pit in your ass
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
