You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
