i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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