this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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