My friends, they love my intelligence
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
