I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
