Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
