Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize