Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
