i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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