I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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