You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
