i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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