My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
