Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
