On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize