im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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