What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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