He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
