i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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