spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
