I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
