At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
COCAINE IS GR8
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
