my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
