Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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