Just fell off a train. Bad.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
