I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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