thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
