Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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