This girl is more easily done than said...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
