Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize