Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
