This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
