I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
