is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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