Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
