Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
