That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
