she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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