i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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