I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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