I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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