Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
