I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
