everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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