SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
