"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
