i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
