I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
